Pledge of Allegiance

She felt compelled to repeat this over and over again so I grabbed my phone and recorded her citing the Pledge of Allegiance and then singing a song about the flag.

We all love the flag, the red white and blue

We have to hold it high like the soldiers do

See how it waves, We never let it fall

The Stars and The Stripes, the best flag of all

It's Our Mother,Daughter Tradition!

Monday- impatiently waiting for orders
Tuesday- Orders issued for Enhanced Mojave Viper in Cali.
Wednesday- Master Guns pulls Chase's orders and moves him to the July det.
Thursday- Major re-issues Chase EMV orders.... to leave Friday

On top of all this we found out some interesting news this week that throws a lot of stuff out of whack.

3:30am came VERY early this morning. As if I hadn't had enough sleep all week I managed to pry myself out of bed to take Chase up to the Hangar so he could leave once again. It was so hard to watch Chase tell Morghan goodbye. For her, he won't be back in 5 weeks. She won't see him until the end of August when we pick her up from Texas. In a week I will be boarding a plane with my munchkin to get her to her grandparents, and then its my turn to say goodbye.

So where did my title fit in? Every time Chase leaves Morghan and I have a bit of a ritual so to speak. Being that he always leaves in the mornings by that evening when I pick her up from school we always get milkshakes/ice cream and head home. She gets to pick out what we make for dinner and help me. (Tonight she wants pancakes) After dinner she gets to pick out a movie and we make popcorn. That night, she gets to sleep with me. Its kind of silly, but when her Princess and the Frog movie came in the mail yesterday I got excited.

I look forward to these nights. I'd like to say they don't happen very often but in all reality you could say they happen far to often. People always tell me that Chase goes on more dets than anyone and I feel the same. This is his second this year and he's already on the list to deploy to Afghanistan this fall. Last year and the year before that he left 4 times with an avg of 5-6weeks being gone each time. It's tough on all of us. This trip will be much different however. With Morghan staying in Texas I'm going to be alone and that freaks me out a bit in light of new circumstances.

New territory for everyone this time around...

It's The Bee's Knees!

So yesterday I had to run out to my car while at work to fetch a rubber band for my hair. The moment I opened the door a bee flew in. It was no small honey bee either, mind you! I spent about 10 minutes trying to coax the monster our before I gave up. And just as I gave up it appeared as though he flew in to my A/C vent. I left a window half down (all the while praying the gloomy clouds would with hold the rain) in hopes that he would fly out in the next few hours until I got off.

A friend later informed me that had I just left the window up he would have died. Not sure about that one but oh well! So I hung out even after my shift allowing the bee extra time to navigate out of my car... it seemed to have worked! When I went to my car I opened all the doors and the back juuuuust to make sure. I grabbed my sweater and started swatting around to make absolutely positive he was out. Again, I didn't see him so I got in the car. I kept the windows rolled down and closed my A/C vents because the last thing I wanted was to blast the cold air and have a bee pop out! I made it home with no sign of him....

UNTIL TODAY! Where the hell was he hiding all this time? 24 hours later I look in my rear view mirror and see the bee going nuts trying to escape out the back windshield. (Oh how I wish that was a remote control window!) I lowered all the windows and kept my eye on him hoping he would fly up by me. He stayed there until I got home. I quickly opened the back and stepped back. He didn't move. Slightly irritated I grabbed a t-shirt from inside and tried to swat him. Nothing. Does he think I can't see him if he just stays still? I took a swing at him again and he flew out. Just as I went to close the back he flew straight at me. The neighbors I'm sure thought I was certifiably crazy watching me run and duck from a seemingly invisible object! I really hope when I slammed the back down he didn't fly back in there.

The Bible got it right, first!

The Bible was sort of the first Good Housekeeping magazine--as far as womanly advice goes that is.

Proverbs 31:25-27 (New Living Translation)

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future.
26 When she speaks, her words are wise,
and she gives instructions with kindness.
27 She carefully watches everything in her household
and suffers nothing from laziness.

Proverbs 14:1 (NLT)

1 A wise woman builds her home,
but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.

Kindness, strength, dignity. Now, that's a beautiful mom.

The Great Misunderstanding

So I got into a bit of a tiff with someone very close to me. They are practically family. Its really left me in a bit of a jam I suppose.

Basically they sent me a message stating that they missed me and felt like we were growing apart. Normally I wold respond in one of two ways. A. I'd say Miss you too or B. I wouldn't respond.

I know, your thinking "What a *itch for not responding" but I guess for me some things are known without being said. I am not a person who needs affirmation and I guess I tend to expect the same of others which isn't fair, I know. For me I know that I love and miss that person, to me it's a given. I don't feel like I need to say it or that they need to say it.. it's already known. Again, not fair.. I know! This conversation happens too often to me. Anytime we don't talk for a week or two they always say we are drifting apart. I don't understand that. I go for a week without talking to my mom and she doesn't say we are "growing apart" and that we need to "re connect". And just to note, in my busy schedule I haven't talked to my mom... and she didn't mention anything because she knows that when I'm free I will call her and check in.

Where am I going with this? Well instead of a usual response I took it one step further in hopes of ending what I deem silly nonsense. To me its over the top to say we are growing apart every time we don't get a chance to talk. I feel like they expectations of me that I should call at least every other day. I explained that I miss them too but that we aren't growing apart, life is just busy and we haven't been able to talk much. And that's the truth! I have been absolutely swamped at work and frazzled with everything for Morghan going to Texas. This got thrown way out of proportion and I turned into a bad person. I felt I could be honest because I thought in true friendship you are supposed to be able to be honest. I never meant it to come across the way that it did (and I'm still not sure how it turned into something ugly)and I think it was misconstrued. I don't feel I sounded harsh HOWEVER did I mention this conversation happened via texting? The worst possible way to communicate something like that. I can see how something can be misinterpreted but to the extent that it would threaten a deep relationship like we have? I've read through the messages over and over again and STILL can not see how it got turned around on me. All I wanted to do was clarify that we weren't growing apart and that it's not necessary to say that every time we don't talk.

When I get the monthly message of "we are growing apart" I get angry because it usually comes at a point when I've been busy and I feel pressured to make a call I don't honestly have time for at that moment. I try to return calls as soon as possible (even immediately when the situation calls) but am made to feel like its never quick enough. I don't like it anymore than the next person but that is the way life is sometimes. It doesn't mean I'm angry, or don't love you... it means life can get hectic and we have to be understanding of that.

Oh and the day before this whole fight happened I went out and bought them something to show them what a great friend they are and to tell them I might be in Texas in June. Interesting...

T-T-T-Texas

This summer Morghan is going to my parents for the summer. This is the first time we will be away from her for more than a week. I've received both criticism and praise on this matter and its left me confused. I don't want either of those things. I don't feel I should be criticized when you don't even know our circumstances. At the same time, don't tell me that sending my child away for 3 months will be a great "break"... There is no break from being a parent. I love her to death. I miss her already and she hasn't even left yet.

If you are wondering WHY she is going, it was simply an offer from my parents that I didn't take seriously at first. I thought the idea was crazy. Being this far from family and friends takes a toll on EVERYTHING. Morghan hardly gets to see any family other than her grandparents twice a year and that's not fair to her or them. She deserves to see them more often and we just can't afford to take trips to Texas all the time.

I know in the beginning it will be hard, and I'm not saying it will get any easier, but it might become slightly more tolerable. I try to keep myself busy with everything that needs to be done in preparation for this trip. As each day draws to a close, anxiety just keeps building up inside.

Wordless Wednesday