The Great Misunderstanding

So I got into a bit of a tiff with someone very close to me. They are practically family. Its really left me in a bit of a jam I suppose.

Basically they sent me a message stating that they missed me and felt like we were growing apart. Normally I wold respond in one of two ways. A. I'd say Miss you too or B. I wouldn't respond.

I know, your thinking "What a *itch for not responding" but I guess for me some things are known without being said. I am not a person who needs affirmation and I guess I tend to expect the same of others which isn't fair, I know. For me I know that I love and miss that person, to me it's a given. I don't feel like I need to say it or that they need to say it.. it's already known. Again, not fair.. I know! This conversation happens too often to me. Anytime we don't talk for a week or two they always say we are drifting apart. I don't understand that. I go for a week without talking to my mom and she doesn't say we are "growing apart" and that we need to "re connect". And just to note, in my busy schedule I haven't talked to my mom... and she didn't mention anything because she knows that when I'm free I will call her and check in.

Where am I going with this? Well instead of a usual response I took it one step further in hopes of ending what I deem silly nonsense. To me its over the top to say we are growing apart every time we don't get a chance to talk. I feel like they expectations of me that I should call at least every other day. I explained that I miss them too but that we aren't growing apart, life is just busy and we haven't been able to talk much. And that's the truth! I have been absolutely swamped at work and frazzled with everything for Morghan going to Texas. This got thrown way out of proportion and I turned into a bad person. I felt I could be honest because I thought in true friendship you are supposed to be able to be honest. I never meant it to come across the way that it did (and I'm still not sure how it turned into something ugly)and I think it was misconstrued. I don't feel I sounded harsh HOWEVER did I mention this conversation happened via texting? The worst possible way to communicate something like that. I can see how something can be misinterpreted but to the extent that it would threaten a deep relationship like we have? I've read through the messages over and over again and STILL can not see how it got turned around on me. All I wanted to do was clarify that we weren't growing apart and that it's not necessary to say that every time we don't talk.

When I get the monthly message of "we are growing apart" I get angry because it usually comes at a point when I've been busy and I feel pressured to make a call I don't honestly have time for at that moment. I try to return calls as soon as possible (even immediately when the situation calls) but am made to feel like its never quick enough. I don't like it anymore than the next person but that is the way life is sometimes. It doesn't mean I'm angry, or don't love you... it means life can get hectic and we have to be understanding of that.

Oh and the day before this whole fight happened I went out and bought them something to show them what a great friend they are and to tell them I might be in Texas in June. Interesting...

T-T-T-Texas

This summer Morghan is going to my parents for the summer. This is the first time we will be away from her for more than a week. I've received both criticism and praise on this matter and its left me confused. I don't want either of those things. I don't feel I should be criticized when you don't even know our circumstances. At the same time, don't tell me that sending my child away for 3 months will be a great "break"... There is no break from being a parent. I love her to death. I miss her already and she hasn't even left yet.

If you are wondering WHY she is going, it was simply an offer from my parents that I didn't take seriously at first. I thought the idea was crazy. Being this far from family and friends takes a toll on EVERYTHING. Morghan hardly gets to see any family other than her grandparents twice a year and that's not fair to her or them. She deserves to see them more often and we just can't afford to take trips to Texas all the time.

I know in the beginning it will be hard, and I'm not saying it will get any easier, but it might become slightly more tolerable. I try to keep myself busy with everything that needs to be done in preparation for this trip. As each day draws to a close, anxiety just keeps building up inside.

Wordless Wednesday

I Am NOT Unconstitutional

In 1952 Congress established National Day of Prayer and in 1988 they set the first Thursday in May as the day for presidents to issue proclamations asking Americans to pray.

A Federal Judge recently ruled that National Day of Prayer is unconstitutional.

To declare such a thing is in itself unconstitutional. There is a reason we have separation of Church and State in this country. This country stems from a Christian foundation. National Day of Prayer is a right and a freedom. The main thing this nation was founded on was the freedom to worship. We have the freedom OF worship, not freedom FROM worship. Immigrant groups traveled to America to flee religious conflict, what would they think of this country today? What would the Founding Fathers of this country think?

You can not take away someones right to pray. Prayer is between and individual and GOD and no one can make that unconstitutional. You can not outlaw prayer and at the same time allow Muslims to pray and worship on White house grounds.

I will pray that day. I will pray for my enemies. MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON THEIR SOULS; FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO!

Neutral?

So after over a year of seeing doctors, therapists, and surgeons we finally have an answer to my knee problems. 2 actually. One is that there are 2 chips in the cartilage in my knee likely caused from my original injury. Not a big deal, not really whats causing so much pain. so its a bit of a back burner issue. The second is a bit difficult to explain just know that bending my knees, squatting, climbing stairs is INCREDIBLY painful. There is a surgical procedure for the second issue, however it only has a 50% success rate. This is not a number the surgeon likes as it is not high enough to his liking. Understandable.

Now then, I see both sides of this issue and it has me stuck in neutral territory.

One the one hand I see that if I were to go through with the surgery (finding a surgeon to complete it) and it does NOT work then I have put my body through a trauma for nothing.

On the other hand, if the surgery DOES work then my knee function will improve.

I really hate this 50/50 scenario. I got the answer I wanted, a diagnosis. Then I turned around and got smacked with "treatment is limited if at all possible"... SUPER!

Doc prefers no surgery, Husband prefers surgery.
I prefer... ???

I DID IT!

After MANY attempts I finally created my own blog layout haha. I never had problems with banners but I wanted my own custom background. I started researching digi scrapbooking and when I came across the stuff I liked I was more determined than ever to figure it out and voila!

Keepin Busy!

Morghan has become quite the drama queen these days. She has started whimpering and sniffling just to get her point across! It is too cute to not laugh at her when she comes up to me and says very sincerely "I'm going to be okay now Mommy *sniffle* " and the proceeds to let out a huge sigh as she walks away. What am I going to do with her?

So this new house seems to have a layer of spiders on the exterior! Being the spider paranoid we are we immediately called when we saw our first widow spider. We had no clue just how bad it was until a few days ago! On Sunday we took Morghan to the drive in theater to see How To Train Your Dragon (very cute by the way!) and when we returned home we were greeted by 3 widows spiders right at the front door. I decided I could no longer wait for the pest control to get here, I was taking matters in to my own hands! After laying Morghan down I raided our cabinets for spider spray. All I could find was Raid for roaches but figured poison was poison so it didn't really matter. Before Chase and I began spraying I took the flashlight ans started counting. 13, 14, 15...27..32...46! Seriously? 46 spiders? We defeated most of them. What i found humorous was the next morning when I left for work and found 4 dead roaches on the ground. HA!

I've been busy with my cards lately so I'll post a few of my favorites!