Who knew?

She does! And so does family until now. We wanted to wait a bit to tell our friends until we felt far enough along. But there you have it... Baby #2 is finally underway! Baby's official estimated due date is January 24th, 2011. A late birthday present for me I suppose you could say! Morghan is VERY excited. She keeps saying she's going to have a brother and a sister but I had to break her heart and let her know there is just one baby not two! lol She is so cute when I talk to her and she tells me she is going to be a BIG sister. She places so much emphasis on the 'big' that capital letters just doesn't get her point across!

Here is the first ultrasound of our newest addition. We won't know the sex for a while yet but Chase is really hoping for a boy this time around. I will be happy no matter what!

So far things with this pregnancy have been more intense than when I had Morghan. They tried to give me medication for the sickness but thus far it has been unsuccessful with this kid. I am glad that Morghan is with my parents though as I can not imagine being this sick and having to take care of her also. I miss her like crazy! With Chase back home for a week its nice to have some company. Hopefully I will be feeling better soon and have a little more energy!

In My Daughter's Eyes

I'm at a low point right now. Lower than I thought I would get to be honest. I knew that I was going to miss my baby girl... I just didn't know it would hurt this much! After the horrid trip back to SC without her (and granted I'm glad she didn't have to make the hellish trip with me) I tried not to think about things too much. But this didn't last long. As I mentioned previously in another entry we had received word of some news and this just is not a time that I need to be alone. I need the support and everything started to come crashing down.

On the way to work today I just started having repetitive thoughts.

I'm lonely.
I miss my husband.
He wasn't supposed to leave until August.
This wasn't the plan.
I hate the Marine Corps.
I miss my baby.
I don't want to be alone.
I need her to hold and cuddle.
I'm lonely.
I'm so lonely it hurts.
This is not a good time for me to be alone.
The dog just isn't enough company.
I'm lonely.

Over and over I said these things. I couldn't even find a positive thought to cheer me up. It was absurd. I was bordering tears by the time I pulled in to work, so I choked down the lump in my throat, took a deep breath and went inside.
Hours later as we were hanging out at a table about to leave the song "In My Daughter's Eyes" by Martina McBride came on and it was all I could do to hold back tears. My eyes were burning and I could feel the tears sitting there, just waiting to escape and flow freely. They took note and asked me and I said "This song makes me miss my baby." I finally allowed the freedom of a few stray drops as they gave me a quick hug and reassured me everything will be okay, as best they could. Then they decided that were going to do a cocktails night at a coworkers for some girl time.

I am so thankful to have good coworkers/friends that were there for me just as I was about to collapse into an unrecognizable heap of depression. If it weren't for them I would have come home and cried myself into a miserable sleep.

Sorry for the depressing entry, but I needed to write something for me. Something to let it out a bit.